What is help?

God help

Me not to long for the things

That aren’t yet nigh

Fore disappointment prompts me to cry

For the aches in the depths of soul.

The source behind those aches,

Who knows?

Quite like myself to be left untold

While I do my best to forge ahead

In the unnecessary mystery of life

And it’s struggles, it’s strife

I want to choose joy yet at night

Desire is so attractive and leaves me

Yearning for more than just help

But comfort and consoling instead

Of truly healing and complete recovery.

Oh God, help me

Whatever that means…

Years Passed

So many thoughts keep flooding my mind.

I can hear my heartbeat surfing the waves of emotions. Fear passed by not too long ago as I drift through the current on a driftwood memory.

A memory of reflection, a memory of past, a memory of thoughts a few years back when I knew less.

It’s funny. When you’re young, you fight and dig into the world’s clam of knowledge, searching for that perfect pearl that will make you feel valued and right.

Then a few years pass and you realized there is no pearl. Just a clam you fought like hell to pry open and when it finally cracks open, you sigh.

Deep breath in, deep breath out followed by silence then a clamoring shout.

WHAT WAS THIS ALL FOR?

What was this all for?

Why am I here and not there? Why is she over there and he here?

Damn it all…

I’m just tired now. All these years have passed and what have I gained?

Compassion, information, self-hatred? Perhaps an inkling of strength and in that strength is birthed value and purpose.

But wow, it took a hell of a lot to get here. Too many years, some say not enough. But they don’t know me.

Hell, I don’t even know me. I spent so much time trying to pry open the clam to get the pearl that I just “knew” would define me.

I’m not even sure if there’s any me left to define.

Disappointment

So you’re disappointed, depending on how far you’re into your life’s journey, this probably is the first time and may not be your last.

Either way, I’m sorry to hear that and sorry to have to tell you that it’s a part of life. Disappointment isn’t fun but sometimes is necessary for personal growth and reflection.

When we take a look at the word disappointment, we have to consider the height and weight of our expectations. Were they massive or minuscule? Did you put yourself or someone or even something in a box? It’s kind of like sending off a package at the UPS store. If you use too small of a box, you won’t be successful in sending it to its final destination without damages. It’s the same thing if you use too big of a box, your package will roll around inside of the box, causing damage upon itself. You have to find the right fit much like with your expectations.

Rather than exclusively having expectations, why not try having hope? Put your hope and faith in someone who will always love you, Jesus.

“For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope.” ‭‭Jeremiah‬ ‭29:11‬ ‭NLT‬‬

So how do we find the best fit? I personally like to look at the circumstance pragmatically. If my goal is to send something or receive something, then I match my expectations to that goal. Lord, let the package be sent or be received. If I want it done on a specific date, what will it take to make that happen? I ask questions that can be definitively answered, then I pursue those answers. This cuts down on the severity and amount of disappointment I feel. It’s the same thing with our faith, we need to direct our questions to the Word of God, the only place that can definitively answer our questions, mitigate our suspicions, fear and anxiety. So why put our faith in God? How does that help us not to feel disappointment or less disappointment?

“The hopes of the godly result in happiness, but the expectations of the wicked come to nothing.” ‭‭Proverbs‬ ‭10:28‬ ‭NLT‬‬

“You will be rewarded for this; your hope will not be disappointed.” Proverbs‬ ‭23:18‬ ‭NLT

Please understand I’m not calling you wicked, but I am saying that those who put their hopes in Christ Jesus result in pure joy and aren’t disappointed in God’s faithfulness. So you’re disappointed, that’s fair but don’t let your story end there. Be encouraged, put your hopes in Christ Jesus, He’ll always love you and have plans to prosper you.

Adulting with Jesus

Ever heard of the word adulting?

It’s that faithful word everyone thinks they’re ready to do… until it comes.

What does it mean to adult or to be an adult?

It means to understand there is so much more than just yourself.

You can’t do it all and certainly not in your own strength; none of us can.

So when you’re at the end of your rope or the beginning, try Jesus. He never fails and He’s always there.

“Take my yoke upon you. Let me teach you, because I am humble and gentle at heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” ‭‭Matthew‬ ‭11:29‬ ‭NLT

We all have questions about some piece of adulting, some we are too ashamed or embarrassed to ask out loud. But God knows the things we don’t speak, you know, the things we bury deep in our hearts. 

“God knows people’s hearts, and he confirmed that he accepts Gentiles by giving them the Holy Spirit, just as he did to us.” ‭‭Acts of the Apostles‬ ‭15:8‬ ‭NLT‬‬

I would encourage you to call on His name, He will listen and give you rest. If you know anything about adulting whether little or much, we could all use a little more rest. 

So call on Him, I know I do. Team Rest for the win! 

Conflict

Breathe in opportunity, breathe out success.

Take me on an excursion through my soul,

Expose my weakness, then help me grow.

Don’t avoid me; talk with me, listen to me.

You’re good and bad but worth the time sacrificed.